No Relation

New address

2006-07-31T20:46:00.000+01:00

Please visit the new location for No Relation at this location.

Thank you, move along now!

How did that get there?

2006-05-17T17:49:00.000+01:00

In one of those stories that makes you say to yourself "what the fuck", the Beeb are reporting that a piano has been found buried on Ben Nevis, Britains highest mountain.

In case you don't believe me, here's a picture.

Hypocrite of the month

2006-05-15T16:21:00.000+01:00

Cardinal Cormac Murphy O'Connor, the head honcho of the Catholic Church in England, recently said the following:

Homosexual people are first of all persons, and have the same entitlement to legal rights as anyone else.”… and …“The Church has consistently spoken out against any discrimination against homosexual persons, and will continue to do so.

Which surprised a lot of people, as the Catholic church usually come across as complete bigots in their treatment of homosexuals.

But, as GALHA reports, things have returned to normal after the Cardinal fired his press officer for being gay.

I wonder if we will see O'Connor speak out against this dismissal, saying that homosexuals deserve equal rights? I highly doubt it.

Taxi Driver becomes Apple "expert"

2006-05-15T07:38:00.000+01:00

Digital Spyreport on a very funny situation at the BBC recently.

After the Apple Corps v Apple Computers case was concluded recently, Guy Kewney, an expert on music and the internet, was waiting in the recption of the BBC to be interviewed about the case.

He was understandably shocked then, when he heard himself being announced as being interviewed at that very moment.

He looked over to find his taxi-driver giving the interview. The interviewer, Karen Bowerman, was puzzled as to why her "expert" seemed to know very little about Apple Computers, on-line music or the Beatles. Indeed it appeared English was not even his first language.

I do not know. I is not sure what I is doing here

He said, on live TV. A BBC spokesman did apologise.

The Kids are alright

2006-05-08T07:59:00.000+01:00

From The Times, who report that the Church of England has done it's own research into the "spirituality" of young people ages 15 to 25. I'm 26 so I guess that means I'm not young anymore, but I digress.

The quotes from those surveyed on the second page of the article are heartening. Even the one religous person quoted says that his hapiness is more important than his religion.

The authors of course, say that the kids have got it all wrong:

“We live in an instant culture, which cannot be reached by instant missionary tactics.” And the desire for happiness is valid and should not be criticised by clergy. “It can only be outclassed by a Christ-like way of life, for in him alone is true happiness to be found.”

A Christ-like way of life eh? So that's do pretty much nothing until the age of 30, then start telling people what to do, piss off the authorities, then get crucified, which your Dad wanted to happen all along. Oh, and probably to never have existed at all. Sounds great doesn't it kids?

I'll leave the last quote to the Archbishop of York, who is often good for a laugh.

The research suggests young people are happy with life as it is, that they have felt no need for a transcendent something else and regard the Church as boring and irrelevant.

People find the church irrelevant? No shit Sherlock.

Election decided by drawing the longest pencil

2006-05-05T09:49:00.000+01:00

According to this article from the BBC, an election has been decided by getting the two candidates who tied to draw the longest pencil.

Now you may expect this to be in some sort of Banana Republic, but this was in the UK, in St Albans to be precise.

This is why we need to change the voting system in this country. If voters were able to give a second choice, this tie would have been able to be resolved without some silly pencil test.

Pete Doherty disapears up own arse

2006-04-07T13:48:00.000+01:00

According to Digital Spy, Babyshambles singer Pete Doherty has said he is this generation's most important rock star, and is the new John Lennon.

No you're not Pete. You're an over-rated druggie who people only know about because you're shagging Kate Moss and taking ridiculous amounts of drugs. 90% of people probably can't even name one of your songs.

Someone really needs to give him a good slap.

I Fought The Law

2006-04-06T08:49:00.000+01:00

According to the BBC, a phone salesman was reported to the police after requesting London Calling by the Clash to be played during a taxi journey. The offending lines were the following:

London calling from the faraway towns, now war is declared and battle come down.
London calling to the underworld, come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls.

This isn't the first time a Clash song has caught the attention of the police. In June 2004, Mike Devine from Bristol was questioned by police after he sent a text message including some of the lyrics to the song "Tommy Gun". Ths song includes the words "gun" and "jet airliner".

Harraj Mann, who is the phone salesman who was questioned, said the following...

I mean obviously the political climate these days is like walking on egg shells, but I mean there's caution and then there's taking it to the point where it's absurd and ludicrous.

One wonders what Joe Strummer would have made of it all.

Mohammed speaks

2006-03-31T17:39:00.000+01:00

The official website of the prophet Muhammed, and his responses to the Mo-toons can be seenhere.

Sign a faith schools petition.

2006-03-31T17:22:00.000+01:00

According to an ICM poll last year, 64% of the population thinks that the government should not be funding faith schools of any kind.

The government disagree, and have decided that the best way to negate the relgious segragation our society is heading towards is to more and more seperate kids at school by the religous beliefs of their parents.

To put it another way, the government thinks that segregating kids on the basis of religion is a good way to encourage religous integration. Eh? If a politician came out and said that kids should be separated on the grounds of race to encourage racial intergration, their party would sack them without a moment's thought.

So, if like me and the majority of the population, you want to see an end to this tax-funded religious propaganda, sign the petition here

Homophobia in Australia

2006-03-30T11:08:00.000+01:00

The BBC reports that the Australian government is going to block any attempt to legalise same-sex civil unions, after legeslation was introduced in the parliament of the Australian Capital Territory.

In an interview with ABC radio, John Stamhope, the head of the ACT government said that the reaction showed homophobia in the John Howard administration, saying:

One has to pose the question of whether or not the real reason (for Mr Ruddock's stance) is that there is no place in John Howard's Australia for homosexuals

John Howard has also condemned gay adoption in the past, so it looks like the accusation of homophobia is well justified.

Scary stuff in Surrey

2006-03-28T09:10:00.000+01:00

The BBC reports that a head-teacher of a Catholic girls school in Surrey has been sent threatening e-mails from anti-abortion protestors due to her decision to teach the kids about contraception.

Firstly, these anti-abortion protesters need to go to school themselves, as there is a BIG difference between abortion and contraception.

Secondly, I hope that this sort of sick US style protest isn't going to become the norm in the UK.

The Shabina Begum case

2006-03-24T16:41:00.000Z

It's not often I find myself agreeing with a Tory MP, but Boris Johnson has got it exaxtly right in this article from the Telegraph about the Shabina Begum fiasco.

This paragraph gets to the heart of the matter:

This case wasn't even about religion, or conscience, or the dictates of faith. At least it wasn't primarily about those things. It was about power. It was about who really runs the schools in this country, and about how far militant Islam could go in bullying the poor, cowed, gelatinous and mentally spongiform apparatus of the British state.

One only hopes that she loses again if it goes to the European courts.

Third make nude telephone calls

2006-03-24T08:26:00.000Z

According to this report on Digital Spy, a third of people make telephone calls in the nude. I wonder if this will change when video phones become common place?

Beer on tap in the home

2006-03-14T08:53:00.000Z

The BBCreports that a Norwegian woman got Beer through her kitchen taps, after a plumbing mistake.

Pity the poor beer drinkers in the pub though, who got water instead of a nice cold beer.

Faith schools 'are not divisive' says archbishop

2006-03-14T08:51:00.000Z

From the Beeb, who report that the Archbishop of Canterbury thinks that schools that seperate kids according to the religious beliefs of their parents are not divisive.

And I suppose that schools that seperate kids according to their race aren't divisive either?

Being a Christian evidently means that the Archbishop lives outside of reality, but does religion really make people that stupid?

Thankfully, we have the National Secular Society to stand up for rationality. Executive Director Keith Porteous Wood said the following:

"The concept of faith schools is self-evidently divisive."

He added: "The whole point of faith schools is for them to bring youngsters to the one true denomination or faith.

"Implicitly, if not explicitly, those who do not follow the faith are regarded as inferior. Some preach that non-followers will face eternal damnation, torment and burning in hell. Nothing could be more divisive."

He added: "The one and only chance to teach integration is to children at schools which reflect the diversity of the whole community.

"We should make all state schools open equally to children of all faiths and none."

Here here. And we also have a sensible politician, which is a rare thing indeed:

But Liberal Democrat MP Evan Harris accused faith schools of selecting children on the grounds of their parents' religion - a practice he said was wrong in today's society.

The MP, who is a member of the National Secular Society, said: "There's not a shred of evidence that being a faith school in and of itself improves results."

What the bloody hell are they doing?

2006-03-09T16:20:00.000Z

The BBC reports that an Australian tourist advert has been banned from broadcast on TV for featuring a swear word.

Here is a still of the offensive part of the ad:-

That's right, bloody hell is considered too offensive for TV. It's not as if they said "So where the fuck are you?" is it?

You can watch the advert here.

Canada beat USA in Baseball World Cup

2006-03-09T16:15:00.000Z

I said a while ago that it would be funny if the USA didn't succeed in the World Baseball Classic.

And I'm laughing as a USA team full of major leaguers fell 5-6 to a Canadian team with no current major leaguers.

Canada only just scraped past amateurs South Africa too, so I can't wait for the South Africa v USA game!

Jessica Rabbit banned in China

2006-02-26T12:53:00.000Z

via GagWatch

This sort of stuff cracks me up. The Chinese government has banned films that feature a combination of animation and live action.

It's stupid of course, but I guess one benefit is that they won't now have to put up with Space Jam.

Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat

2006-02-24T20:02:00.000Z

I'll just quote this article from the Beeb in it's entirety. I'm sure you will be as amazed as I was......

A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.
The goat's owner, Mr Alifi, said he surprised the man with his goat and took him to a council of elders.
They ordered the man, Mr Tombe, to pay a dowry of 15,000 Sudanese dinars ($50) to Mr Alifi.
"We have given him the goat, and as far as we know they are still together," Mr Alifi said.
Mr Alifi, Hai Malakal in Upper Nile State, told the Juba Post newspaper that he heard a loud noise around midnight on 13 February and immediately rushed outside to find Mr Tombe with his goat.
"When I asked him: 'What are you doing there?', he fell off the back of the goat, so I captured and tied him up".
Mr Alifi then called elders to decide how to deal with the case.
"They said I should not take him to the police, but rather let him pay a dowry for my goat because he used it as his wife," Mr Alifi told the newspaper.

Government stocks up with bird flu vaccine.

2006-02-24T13:43:00.000Z

The government is stocking up on vaccine for bird flu.

Am I the only person who doesn't really worry about this? Remember 2 and a half years ago, when we were all going to die of SARS?

Is this just another scare? The very funny Dr Phil Hammond was on the Late Edition on BBC4 last night, and he pointed out that more people die each year falling down the stairs than they do of flu. So should we be having a panic over stair fall related injuries?

Celebrity X-Factor

2006-02-24T11:31:00.000Z

What is it with making every program a Celebrity special?

I hate X Factor, and I'm sure I'll hate the celebrity special just as much. These sort of programs are not only killing the music industry, but they're making even bigger celebrities out of people who don't actually do anything. Look at Chantelle from celebrity big brother.

The problem is, there's a lot of idiots willing to watch these shows, which means that they'' continue for a while yet.

Livingstone found Guilty

2006-02-24T11:27:00.000Z

The Guardian, and several other sources are reporting that London mayor Ken Livingstone has been found guilty of bringing his office into disrepute.

Last February he compared a Jewish Evening Standard reporter to a concentration camp guard after he was hounding him with questions on his way home.

I don't agree with some of Ken's politics, but I support him on this. He may have been more than a little insensitive, but some journos can be real bastards when persuing their "targets".

If the reporter wasn't Jewish, this probably wouldn't have resulted in this guilty verdict.

**UPDATE**

Livingstone has recieved a 4 week suspension from office.

Olympic Ice Hockey

2006-02-24T11:14:00.000Z

Ice Hockey is the event in the Winter Olympics I like the most. Like all ice hockey fans, I'm amazed to see a semi-final line up without the USA and Canada.

It really is good to see other countries suceeding at North American Sports. Now if only the USA could not win the World Baseball Classic, starting next week. If Cuba could beat the USA in the final, I'd certainly allow myself a chuckle.

While we're on ice hockey, a few weeks back I caught some coverage of the World Bandy Championships. To my untrained eye, bandy looks like a cross between Ice Hockey and Soccer, although I believe bandy came before ice hockey.

It's an exciting sport, and I think it would make a worthy addition to the Olympics.